There’s a huuuge difference between being alive and walking about as a semi-dead replica of a human being. Most people seem to equate being an adult or grown-up with being semi-dead. No more hysterical giggles, no more curious exploration, no more playfulness but most of all no more displays of feelings or god forbid talking about how we feel. As adults we seem to forget that in the present moment there are always opportunities to feel alive. Instead of going about our lives like flat-lined creatures just barely alive enough to move our bodies, we could pay attention to what we are experiencing. And no, I’m not talking about mindfulness alone, rather a focus on our sensual presence.
To be sensually present entails being aware not only of the happenings around you, but rather the inner experience which usually entails feelings, sensations and those require a special kind of alertness, or liveliness. It’s not a mental or mind thing, but a a whole-body/spirit experience. Without the corresponding feelings and sensations it is just mental masturbation and does nothing for your enjoyment of life.
I see so many who have this semi-dead look in their eyes, after many years of resisting their feelings, or their impulses, their spontaneity it takes something extraordinary for them to come out of their shells. Most people allow themselves to feel deeply if they are in a situation “anybody” could agree is extraordinary. We are allowed to cry if we loose someone, we are allowed to feel depressed or scared if we’re going through a divorce, loosing our jobs or being sick, we are even allowed to be angry when we encounter something that is generally perceived as upsetting, but to be severely enthusiastic about something small, somewhat sad or giddy with excitement over something we enjoy that’s usually perceived as being “silly”. And to most being both “silly” or “childlike” and a “grown-up” is just inconceivable. As the saying goes: “there’s a time and a place…”
Most people desire to feel alive though, they know they once did, when they were children they might have spent a half afternoon watching a spider climb a wall, digging a hole at the beach, dressing up with a friend, dreaming and scheeming about future adventures not more earth-shattering than walking to the store and buying their favorite ice-cream. Each dream-sequence fullfilling on it’s own, and always accompanied by more prospects. But along the way we were taught, by “well-meaning” adults or life itself, that dreams are for loosers and will only cause disappointment and heartbreak. That’s when the dying, the numbing down, the coma or that deadened look takes over. Some are even convinced that being present with their feelings and allowing them to show is irresponsible!! They want to be perceived as having their “ducks in a neat row” which results in them being as non-charming and unattractive as a wet cigarett-butt.
We are not that different from an ocean. An ocean can display huge breaking waves, tiny ripples, soft rolling movements, a peaceful calm as well as a trillion other variations. We know and we accept that within that ocean all of these expressions are contained and we understand that it is up to us to handle the ocean accordingly and with care. We wouldn’t even want it to be any other way,.
Within each human being are the possibilities of the same vastly different expressions, we can feel fury, heavenly joy, awe, peace, playfulness etc and in accepting and acquainting ourselves with them lies the key to feeling alive. Just like the ocean wouldn’t be as awe-inspiring and magnificent without all it’s expressions, neither are we. Embrace the ocean inside of you. Allow the waves and the currents to be what they are, the force behind them is not there to harm you, quite the opposite, it’s there to show you how amazingly powerful you are.
bigpaublog 