Need to justify – points to inner conflict

Justifying, explaining and defending our standpoint, no matter what it may be, points to an inner conflict. When the need to justify your opinion makes you use an almost endless tirade of words, you can count on the fact that you are not in complete agreement with yourself.

We all know when someone does it, but may be quite oblivious to our own tendency to justify or explain. Like the colleague who is late and delivers a ten minute speech on the why’s and wherefores. We just don’t buy it, most of the time.

Still it’s kind of funny if you think about how our politicians do this for a living. They seem to never truly say what they mean and we despise them for it. We don’t trust them and their longwinded justifications and explanations (hopefully) pass by us like so much annoying noice.

At a personal level however, we may spend hours on how to justify our opinion, (even to ourself), our feelings about something or someone, which is more or less an inner debate with the one Self that knows and the fictive Self who is run by fear, anger, need for control. We try to convince the fictive Self, to come to an agreement so we feel in accord with ourselves. We have listened to the fear or the “what if’s” for such a long time it makes us feel jittery and insecure to even consider not to.

The fictive Self comes up with a number of dreaded consequences trying it’s best to keep us in the status quo.

When we feel a need to justify something this therefore gives your a clue that you are paying attention to your false Self, an entity within that do not want you to change, do not want you to  challenge your habitual responses, a Self that lives by limiting your choices and thereby your enjoyment in life. But the thing is, that even though you might become static, rigid and almost robot like in your behavior to appease this inner adversary, it will not let up. Then it starts berating you for being a coward or a wuss.

The key to becoming more authentic and live in a more expansive state, is to become aware of this phenomenon, to simply notice this part of you.. It serves you better to realize that this part of you cannot be convinced by justification, cannot be forced to shut up by arguing and that state of harmony and inner peace that you aim for is it’s most dreaded outcome.

Then you can quietly notice it’s ramblings, in the awareness that it’s very survival depends on you grappling with it. Then it’s up to you to choose whether you will hand over your power to it – or not.

I know that I have used the scene from the first Indiana Jones movie before, BUT, yet again, to give you an image of this fictive Self  I ask you to call to mind the scene when Harrison Ford is attacked by an adorned and menacing swordsman. This guy dressed in black, waving his sables like a mad man, looking murderous and scary,  is doing his best to intimidate Ford. You can see in Ford’s face his intial dismay and even a moment’s fear, and just seconds after his overpowering weariness of fighting what he realizes is not even a threat. He pulls out his gun and shoots the swordsman dead, no drama, no fight, swift and to the point.

I can think of no other movie scene that better illustrates our daily battles with our fictive Self. 


You are allowed to have an opinion!

The culture amongst people today has become one of not expressing or even having an opinion, the “politically correct” syndrome. All the time we hear about John or Mary who has been offended by some statement or other. New decrees of what you can and cannot say are fired at us constantly. But having an opinion is very human, it’s natural and normal and to try and train yourself not to have one is not doing you or anyone else any good.

Whenever we hear news, someone telling us something, no matter what, we have an opinion about it. Now, I’m not saying that we need to express those opinions indiscriminately,  but I am saying that we are allowed to have them. They tell us about our own belief systems, our own truth and how we see the world. It’s not as if we can or should, effort to ignore our opinions, or even pretend we do not have them, but this is the current state of affairs. (Apart from those that spend their lives trolling on social media who portray the opposite end of the stick.)

Relax and listen to your opinions,  express them if you feel called to,  and rest assured that you, like everybody else, has the right to have one. Many have become so frigthened of their own opinions they dare not speak up, even when something is obviously wrong which is a very dangerous situation.

Being afraid to state our case, or to just stand up for our opinion, is the scare tactic used to keep us quiet and obedient. If the majority of the population sit quietly, government, politicians, media and the corporate world can pretty much do whatever they want.

Any and all relationships, and that includes our relationship with our own country, culture and fellow human beings, need communication to function. Otherwise the relationship is one-sided. This does not work in romantic relationships, parental relationships, friendships or any other relationship.

Our opinions are our direction in life. This doesn’t mean that all our opinions necessarily are “true”, or need to be acted on, but they do tell us about ourselves. To allow ourselves to have opinions, to listen to them, discern whether they’re actionable, or not, is key to staying human, and even humane.

If those in power are left to decide this for you, which they have done their damnest to accomplish, they of course rather have you silenced, intimidated and not questioning anything. Like blind soldiers, following orders we know are inherently bad for us.

Allowing ourselves to have opinions, is not about loud rebellion, it’s about finding your self, this beautiful being, hidden under other’s beliefs, fear, anger, shame and guilt. That voice, subtle as it may have become, or even almost indistguishable, that tells you what is important to you, how you want to live your life and what you want to leave as your legacy when your journey here is over. Allow yourself to listen to it and honor it. That is the only way you will feel on purpose and fulfilled.


How well do you know yourself?

The Oracle in Delphi’s words “Know thyself” are as valid nowadays, as way back then. To know yourself is vitally important in order to live an authentic life, to feel good about yourself and actually to feel safe as well.

We all have this inner knowing, this deep sense of what is right for us, what feels unacceptable and what feels, well, good,  in lack for a better word. Our upbringing and first years here on the planet come with a lot of do’s and don’ts, that our caretakers imprinted on us, or our friends, siblings, teachers etc. All those do’s and don’ts may be agreeable to us, or they might not.

If we find ourselves feeling at odds with our lives, as if something, inside is askew, or just not in harmony, we might have adopted other people’s ideas or opinions against our own truth. Ideas and opinions that don’t sit well within us.

We might analyse ourselves, reflect on what we were taught, have realizations and insights as to how and when and why they came about, which might help to neutralize them, but it is not necessary to know even if it might ease the inner conflict. What is necessary however, is to know oneself enough, to recognize when something we do, say, think or feel does not compute inside. A feeling that can vary from an ever so subtle irritation to fullblown fury, or sadness, or fear. To make a note of it and check in to see what would have felt better.

When you know yourself, you can discern whether a fear, or anger, is a signal that you have wavered from your own true self, or if it’s just another “program” from the past that wasn’t a good fit.

This part of you, is always there, is always guiding you towards your authentic and unique self, that very essence you are here to express. To simply live by repeating what others may have said, implied or manipulated you into believing is that stage when we walk about in our life feeling an emptiness, that we’re missing out on something important or that we have no purpose. To use this inner guidance system, moment by moment, heed it’s messages and act accordingly becomes like one of those automatic scans for our favorite radio station, it continuously adjusts and the signal is coming through loud and clear. Just like we want it.

To know ourselves, to feel safe and comfortable in our own skin, is what makes us shine at our brightest. This does not mean that everybody will love us, agree with us or even tolerate us, but it does entail that elusive feeling that we’re OK whether people do or don’t. It gives you that resilience that will not crumble at the slightest sign of disapproval. Like sitting inside a comfortable cottage, all warm and cosy, while a blizzard or “shitstorm” is raging outside.


The digital world, social & main stream media, are not real

The number of people who are living in the digital world of social media like Instagram, Facebook & Twitter and who swallows anything and everything said in the main stream media is alarming. It’s as if large chunks of the population are now convinced that fictional TV-series are the actual reality.  The digital world is like mind-poison, it confuses, deludes and scares us into what would, not so long ago, have been called “lunatics”. You know, people who believe they are Napoleon, or show other traits that tell us that they are not fully here.

This fictional world has crept up on us in an insidious manner, which in my humble opinion is actually the point. Step by step, we have come to trust the digital version of our world instead of being in it, talking to real people, finding out facts for ourselves, using our discernment. We are spoonfed “information” that is selected to frighten and outrage us, believing that “news” are neutral and factual, believing that scientific research and reports are true (and even the only truth), not even reflecting anymore on what is NOT there.

This twerking and tweaking of our reality is sinister. Our minds, our discernment, our individuality and sovereignty are threatened. It starts early, our children are sent to day-care centres at an early age and to school to be molded into what “society” has deemed “good productive citizens”. They are however not taught to think for themselves, to learn how to handle their emotions, to use their imagination or to diverge in any way shape or form from the crowd. And today more than ever before, they are not even free after school hours, they are herded into the digital world, which further separates them from their true nature.

The real world is NOT digital. The real world is coherent and connected. The real world is alive, the digital world is artificial. Ask yourself if you want to be real or artificial – a no brainer right?

It’s easy to be hypnotized, but the thing is it’s just as easy to come out of this dazed state. Just turn the digital world OFF for a while, get back into life and notice the difference. We are not here to spend our time on this planet in an engineered coma, we are here to experience and create, our own lives.

I have no issues with the internet as such, it’s great, but it is meant to be a tool. As it is now, humans are the tools and the internet the puppeteer.

Är regeringens maktmissbruk ett fall för Polisen, Leif GW eller “Efterlyst”?

För inte så länge sedan hade Sverige ett anseende, ett gott anseende. Nu finns inte längre mycket att yvas över. Samhällskulturen, samhällsandan har förändrats från trygg och hederlig, till fientlig och osäker. Våra politiker ägnar sig åt någon slags bisarr kontroll av den skötsamma majoriteten invånare, har överlämnat skola, vård och landets struktur till aktörer som enbart har vinstintresse i sikte och tycks inte ens förstå orsakssammanhangen i det svenska samhällets sönderfall.

För ett par dagar sedan skrev Roland Paulsen, återigen, om de uppenbara bristerna i Arbetsförmedlingens och Försäkringskassans agerande, läs här.

Samtliga politiska partier ignorerar de många och iögonfallande tecknen på att Sverige krisar. Istället försöker de vinna poäng genom detaljfokus på frågor som borde ligga långt ner på prioriteringslistan, alternativt genom publika “beklaganden” av ännu ett sprängdåd, en skjutning eller mord.

Regeringens och riksdagens “direktiv” till Försäkringskassan och Arbetsförmedlingen, som antingen tolkas fritt av respektive myndighet, alternativt är skeva från början har fått följden att dessa myndigheters uppdrag har gått från att vara samhällstjänster som är till för invånarna, till polisiära och bestraffande instanser som ökar den generella otryggheten, stressen och sjukdomstalen i landet. Och när invånarna blir sjuka har vårdapparaten belagts med så många nya och destruktiva direktiv och indragningar att patientsäkerhet och vårdkvalitet nu lider stora brister.

Skola, vård och trygghet för landets invånare utgör den absoluta grunden för ett produktivt och rikt samhälle.

Heide Stensmyren, ordförande i Läkarförbundet skriver i Läkartidningen i november 2019: “Saco uppskattar att cirka 50 procent av det som i dag betalas in till socialförsäkringarna inte går tillbaka till den anställda i form av till exempel sjukersättning, i stället försvinner pengarna in i statsbudgetens “svarta hål”.  Se här.

Man skulle också kunna säga att vi under flera års tid utsatts för ett systematiskt försäkringsbedrägeri.

Ersättningsnivåerna för sjukdom och arbetslöshet ligger alltså på en långt lägre nivå än de skattepengar vi betalar in ger utrymme för.

Som om förskingring inte vore skandal nog misstänkliggörs samtliga invånare(!!!) i samma ögonblick som de tar hand om sjuka barn, ansöker om sjukpenning eller utan egen förskyllan blir arbetslösa. Ett klassiskt exempel på projicering. (Projektion, en term som används inom psykologin för att beskriva en försvarsmekanism som en person begagnar sig av då den inte vill eller kan kännas vid sina egna svagheter tillskriver andra personer eller sin omgivning dessa egenskaper för att försvara sin självbild.)

Det är synnerligen dags att vända strålkastarljuset åt rätt håll, och nej, jag har inte glömt pensionerna som gick samma öde till mötes, vården som idag står inför direktiv som omöjliggör en kvalitativ vård, utbildningssystemet som inte erbjuder mycket annat än stress och som resulterar i barn med depression och självmordstankar – allt för att de svarta hålen till varje pris ska fyllas på.

Kanske dags för svenska folket att polisanmäla regeringen.

(När jag använder ordet “regering” syftar jag inte på enskilt parti, eller ens nuvarande regering eftersom det här har implementerats under flera år och samtliga partier bör hållas ansvariga.)

Kindness and strength must go together

The polarity engaging so many is between kindness and strength, as if kindness and strength do not mix. On one hand we want to be kind, nurturing, welcoming and accepting and on the other we feel powerless, weak, castrated, hurt and even angry when someone takes our kindness for granted. The lesson here is to be kind AND strong at the same time.

Kindness without strength is cowardice and strength without kindness usually become cruelty. So you see, one without the other causes imbalance and negativity. This is the essence of unity, of refusing to separate what we think of as polarities and understand that the various combinations of them are offering the balance and harmony we all want in our lives.

This goes with all “opposites”. In understanding that these perceived polarities are only markers on a ruler, one at the far end side of the other, but still on the same ruler, not really separate at all, we find unity and harmony.

We cannot continue to frantically avoid what we deem as “negative” but embrace them as part of a whole.

The polarities we see today is part of this huge misunderstanding causing people to try to either live their lives on the positive side of the ruler, or the negative, each disrespecting the other profusely. Those who claim that they actually are only positive are constantly struggling with their shadow aspects, and those who proudly stand on the darker side, fear their light. But if you imagine a hero – would you truly admire him or her if there was only strength, cruelty and decisiveness or isn’t it his or her kindness, softness and vulnerability mixed in with that strength that truly evokes your love?

To be aware of the wholeness that you are, that you do, whether you want to accept it or not, encompass both cruelty and kindness, love and fear, joy and sorrow is key to finding balance. It’s our choice to not allow strength become cruely, nor kindness cowardice. This is why it’s so important to not make any decisions in affect, in emotional turmoil but to breathe and allow the colors of the emotions to fuse in harmony and then choose.

It’s really no more complicated than cooking. For some dishes (situations) we need more heat, spice, tartness and for others we sprinkle everything in sweetness and cream. Mix and match appropriately for whatever decision or action you need to take. You will know when the taste is just right for whatever current situation your in.

Den otidsenliga politiken

Politik idag känns mest som omtuggad mat från igår. Ingenting nytt, ingenting aktuellt, ingenting som tyder på att makthavarna ens noterar att världen förändras, livet förändras, deras länder och dess invånare förändras. Istället håller de krampaktigt fast vid daterade strategier, förlegade idéer och med en dåres envishet står de fast vid just det som behöver rensas ut. Idag handlar det inte längre om de gamla idéerna och att till varje pris försöka bevara dem, det handlar om att skapa nya idéer, nya strategier som är förankrade i verkligheten och som utgår från möjligheter snarare än rigida omöjligheter.

Skulle du anlita en läkare som rekommenderar inandning av bensin för hosta, eller en psykiatriker som piskar depressionen ur sina patienter, eller lita på en präst som stänker vigvatten och driver ut demoner ur församlingen? Nej, jag tänkte väl det. Och ändå är det precis den sortens omoderna idéer som våra politiker presenterar om och om och om igen.

Världen, befolkningen, vi, behöver medvetna människor som har uppdaterat sin världsbild, sin kunskap om människan, naturen och livet med allt det vi idag vet. .Vi behöver politiker som lämnat dåtidens söndra och härska bakom sig, som inser att ju större del av befolkningen som lever i harmoni och balans, ju mer produktivt och rikt är landet. Vi behöver ledare som både har insikten och kraften att applicera nya kunskaper i allt från lagstiftning till infrastruktur.

Vi behöver människor som kan se helheter, som förstår sammanhang och som medvetet och målinriktat vägrar använda eller användas av rädsla som enda motiveringsfaktor. Vi behöver människor som utvecklat ett högre medvetande, en högre kunskap än den som uppnås i våra akademiska institutioner, människor som har en djup förståelse för människans och naturens villkor och som ser den enorma potentialen i det. Det kräver ett skarpt sinne, en insikt och ödmjukhet inför allt vi inte vet, än, en aldrig sinande nyfikenhet och ett mod att lyssna till och följa hjärtats visdom.

Plato skrev för 2000 år sedan en allegori om en grotta. Fritt översatt handlar det om en grupp människor som hela sitt liv levt fastkedjade i en grotta där de endast sett skuggor på väggarna, som skrämt och oroat dem. Alla i grottan var både rädda och modstulna, men fast övertygade om att grottan var allt som fanns En av dem lyckades frigöra sig från kedjorna och gick,  trots ihärdiga varningar från de andra, ut ifrån grottan. Där såg han solen för första gången, grönt gräs, blommor i regnbågens alla färger och djur som betade och lekte. Ivrig, sprang han tillbaka till grottan och berättade om färgerna, dofterna, värmen och friheten för att få sina medfångar att också få uppleva allt det fantastiska. Men människorna i grottan beskyllde honom istället för att vara galen och ville döda honom.

Det var drygt 2000 år sedan Plato kom till den insikten. Och sen dess har våra politiker använt sig av detta på olika sätt och genom olika metoder. Vem väljer du att lyssna på, en skrämd grottmänniska som aldrig haft modet att leva, eller någon som trotsat sin egen fruktan, upptäckt, utforskat och öppnat dörrar till större glädje, förundran och vishet än du ens trodde var möjligt?

2020 – a year of perfect vision

My hope for all this new year is 20/20 vision. Clarity and discerning eyes are needed in order to make this world a better place.

However, the majority is so caught up in the stress and fear of life, that stress which is constantly nurtured by the main stream media, the educational systems and political/financial agendas that mainly crave separation and strife in order to be successful. Clarity and discernment are only possible when we calm down, when we take a time out from the blairing alarms which many times have no substance but are only there to fuel the fear.

The clarity I hope for is that many more will make an effort to actually sit back and have a proper look at the messages we are fed, day in and day out, to question them and with 20/20 vision realize what is behind most of them; “BE SCARED!” or “FEAR THIS!” The reason for this is, as I have mentioned before, to keep us scared, to keep us stressed out of our minds so that we loose our cognitive and discerning faculties and will not see, nor understand, the sinister truth. When the populations are fearful, they are more easily manipulated into behaviors and obedience.

Fear makes us stupid, we stop questioning and chase safety and security without even asking ourselves first if the fear is based on truth. Whenever you feel that twinge of worry, of fear, stop in your tracks and question it. Fear and worry will never lead you to safety, only truth will.

20/20 vision entails a wider view, a deeper view, a clear perspective where the messages that are there to scare you will become bright and sharp, even overwhelmingly many at first, and that’s your cue to question their value. All year, you WILL see 2020 wherever you go, use it to remind yourself that perfect vision comes from calm, not fear.

The need to feel connected

We all feel a need to be connected, to someone, to a place, to an idea, whatever it takes….

It’s a valid need of course, feeling connected also gives you a context, sometimes an identity and a deep sense of belonging. However natural and sound this need is, it has become somewhat warped in today’s world.

There is a false and volatile sense of connectedness that has been made substitute for the real deal. The connectedness based on fear and hate, and one glance at the so called social media confirms that.

If you refuse to be swayed this way and that and decide to take a look from above, it’s obvious that this is in fact anything but connectedness, it’s separation parading as connectedness. True connecteness springs out of love and is inclusive, co-operative and wise, while this false sense of connectedness through fear and hate is narrowminded, petty and, well, dumb.

People pat each other’s backs agreeing on all sort of things, from politics, sexuality, religion to which football team to support and get this false sense of connectedness, forgetting that today’s hero might be tomorrow’s villain. It’s all a matter of perspective, and perspectives change, especially perspectives that allow for an element of fear or hate. The fake security of a temporary “we” can change in an instant. All the ideas, movements and groups that are fear-based are banking on the herd-mentality which just as easily could be described as intellectual laziness and/or a mind incapable of discernment due to an overdose of fear.

In today’s world, most of us are stressed out and consequently have an overworked amygdala, which signals danger most of the time. This in turn actually blurrs the capacity of the pre-frontal cortex to the degree where wise decision and clear thinking are garbled. You see why this is a good thing when you want to herd people in this or that direction?

Fear has been used to manipulate, separate and conquer since the beginning of time, but it has never produced any long-term or stable solutions.

Take this holiday season to give yourself a rest. A rest from the fear, a sigh of relief. Use it to take a discerning look at what the media, the politicians, the news and all those who want a piece of your pay cheque really are selling and decide to not buy into it anymore.

It’s called “main stream” for a reason. This main stream, whether it is media, politics or education, is polluted, toxic and a hazard to your health. It is only there to manipulate you. You don’t need to stay in it.

Take it one step at a time. Stop watching the “news”, refrain from hanging out on the social media platforms, take a break and take back your power. Make your own mind up, based on your gut feelings, your love, your wisdom. This and nothing else will reduce this poisonous flood that keeps the inhabitants of this planet in constant terror, to an insignificant trickle that cannot cause any harm..

Not feeling loved felt better….

All my life I’ve come up with reasons for not feeling loved, or rather for not loving myself. “Aha, it’s because I’ve gained weight, because I’m not successful, because I’m not wealthy, because I’m not…..enough”. It felt better, very familiar and obviously safer than accepting that this story, that I’ve told myself all my life, was simply not true. The story being that I can’t be loved until….”that” whatever that is, happens.

Like the proverbial donkey and the carrott I’ve been on this futile chase of that eternally elusive carrott. To not feel loved (yet) gave me a sense of “being able to find the answer”, as in being in control, and every time, which have been many, I thought I found it, it started my motivational engine and had it running full speed, for a while. This feeling of never really measuring up to the imagined standards for receiving that love, I can, if I want to put a positive spin on it,  choose to view as a motivational surge to always do better which has helped me achieve some small successes. I grew so used to that hunger, that energy of “when I get there”, I thought it was a fact of life.

When I heard about unconditional love, I immediately knew that this was what I felt for my daughter, my pets, nature, the planet in general. That this was an option for me as well, never really occurred to me. That’s how out of my experience it was. And I adjusted and even built my life upon it. It has been a slow and very incremental kind of road to understanding and letting go, I admit.

After having been on this “quest” to understand why I never felt enough, safe and loved, for such a long time, it felt kind of petty to realize that through all these layers of “that’s it”, it  all came back to me wanting my father to love me. I thought it would be something bigger, more advanced, more mindblowing. But it wasn’t. I have of course realized that he didn’t love me unconditionally before, I have mourned it, worked with it and thought I had left it behind. This is what I mean by “incremental”.

It didn’t result in me being enveloped in a sudden blissed out state of self love, not at all. Actually I find comfort in that sense of “it” finally being deflated, because as of right now, there are no new expectations. It’s more like when you’ve finished a book, it’s done.