Justifying, explaining and defending our standpoint, no matter what it may be, points to an inner conflict. When the need to justify your opinion makes you use an almost endless tirade of words, you can count on the fact that you are not in complete agreement with yourself.
We all know when someone does it, but may be quite oblivious to our own tendency to justify or explain. Like the colleague who is late and delivers a ten minute speech on the why’s and wherefores. We just don’t buy it, most of the time.
Still it’s kind of funny if you think about how our politicians do this for a living. They seem to never truly say what they mean and we despise them for it. We don’t trust them and their longwinded justifications and explanations (hopefully) pass by us like so much annoying noice.
At a personal level however, we may spend hours on how to justify our opinion, (even to ourself), our feelings about something or someone, which is more or less an inner debate with the one Self that knows and the fictive Self who is run by fear, anger, need for control. We try to convince the fictive Self, to come to an agreement so we feel in accord with ourselves. We have listened to the fear or the “what if’s” for such a long time it makes us feel jittery and insecure to even consider not to.
The fictive Self comes up with a number of dreaded consequences trying it’s best to keep us in the status quo.
When we feel a need to justify something this therefore gives your a clue that you are paying attention to your false Self, an entity within that do not want you to change, do not want you to challenge your habitual responses, a Self that lives by limiting your choices and thereby your enjoyment in life. But the thing is, that even though you might become static, rigid and almost robot like in your behavior to appease this inner adversary, it will not let up. Then it starts berating you for being a coward or a wuss.
The key to becoming more authentic and live in a more expansive state, is to become aware of this phenomenon, to simply notice this part of you.. It serves you better to realize that this part of you cannot be convinced by justification, cannot be forced to shut up by arguing and that state of harmony and inner peace that you aim for is it’s most dreaded outcome.
Then you can quietly notice it’s ramblings, in the awareness that it’s very survival depends on you grappling with it. Then it’s up to you to choose whether you will hand over your power to it – or not.
I know that I have used the scene from the first Indiana Jones movie before, BUT, yet again, to give you an image of this fictive Self I ask you to call to mind the scene when Harrison Ford is attacked by an adorned and menacing swordsman. This guy dressed in black, waving his sables like a mad man, looking murderous and scary, is doing his best to intimidate Ford. You can see in Ford’s face his intial dismay and even a moment’s fear, and just seconds after his overpowering weariness of fighting what he realizes is not even a threat. He pulls out his gun and shoots the swordsman dead, no drama, no fight, swift and to the point.
I can think of no other movie scene that better illustrates our daily battles with our fictive Self.