Need to justify – points to inner conflict

Justifying, explaining and defending our standpoint, no matter what it may be, points to an inner conflict. When the need to justify your opinion makes you use an almost endless tirade of words, you can count on the fact that you are not in complete agreement with yourself.

We all know when someone does it, but may be quite oblivious to our own tendency to justify or explain. Like the colleague who is late and delivers a ten minute speech on the why’s and wherefores. We just don’t buy it, most of the time.

Still it’s kind of funny if you think about how our politicians do this for a living. They seem to never truly say what they mean and we despise them for it. We don’t trust them and their longwinded justifications and explanations (hopefully) pass by us like so much annoying noice.

At a personal level however, we may spend hours on how to justify our opinion, (even to ourself), our feelings about something or someone, which is more or less an inner debate with the one Self that knows and the fictive Self who is run by fear, anger, need for control. We try to convince the fictive Self, to come to an agreement so we feel in accord with ourselves. We have listened to the fear or the “what if’s” for such a long time it makes us feel jittery and insecure to even consider not to.

The fictive Self comes up with a number of dreaded consequences trying it’s best to keep us in the status quo.

When we feel a need to justify something this therefore gives your a clue that you are paying attention to your false Self, an entity within that do not want you to change, do not want you to  challenge your habitual responses, a Self that lives by limiting your choices and thereby your enjoyment in life. But the thing is, that even though you might become static, rigid and almost robot like in your behavior to appease this inner adversary, it will not let up. Then it starts berating you for being a coward or a wuss.

The key to becoming more authentic and live in a more expansive state, is to become aware of this phenomenon, to simply notice this part of you.. It serves you better to realize that this part of you cannot be convinced by justification, cannot be forced to shut up by arguing and that state of harmony and inner peace that you aim for is it’s most dreaded outcome.

Then you can quietly notice it’s ramblings, in the awareness that it’s very survival depends on you grappling with it. Then it’s up to you to choose whether you will hand over your power to it – or not.

I know that I have used the scene from the first Indiana Jones movie before, BUT, yet again, to give you an image of this fictive Self  I ask you to call to mind the scene when Harrison Ford is attacked by an adorned and menacing swordsman. This guy dressed in black, waving his sables like a mad man, looking murderous and scary,  is doing his best to intimidate Ford. You can see in Ford’s face his intial dismay and even a moment’s fear, and just seconds after his overpowering weariness of fighting what he realizes is not even a threat. He pulls out his gun and shoots the swordsman dead, no drama, no fight, swift and to the point.

I can think of no other movie scene that better illustrates our daily battles with our fictive Self. 


You are allowed to have an opinion!

The culture amongst people today has become one of not expressing or even having an opinion, the “politically correct” syndrome. All the time we hear about John or Mary who has been offended by some statement or other. New decrees of what you can and cannot say are fired at us constantly. But having an opinion is very human, it’s natural and normal and to try and train yourself not to have one is not doing you or anyone else any good.

Whenever we hear news, someone telling us something, no matter what, we have an opinion about it. Now, I’m not saying that we need to express those opinions indiscriminately,  but I am saying that we are allowed to have them. They tell us about our own belief systems, our own truth and how we see the world. It’s not as if we can or should, effort to ignore our opinions, or even pretend we do not have them, but this is the current state of affairs. (Apart from those that spend their lives trolling on social media who portray the opposite end of the stick.)

Relax and listen to your opinions,  express them if you feel called to,  and rest assured that you, like everybody else, has the right to have one. Many have become so frigthened of their own opinions they dare not speak up, even when something is obviously wrong which is a very dangerous situation.

Being afraid to state our case, or to just stand up for our opinion, is the scare tactic used to keep us quiet and obedient. If the majority of the population sit quietly, government, politicians, media and the corporate world can pretty much do whatever they want.

Any and all relationships, and that includes our relationship with our own country, culture and fellow human beings, need communication to function. Otherwise the relationship is one-sided. This does not work in romantic relationships, parental relationships, friendships or any other relationship.

Our opinions are our direction in life. This doesn’t mean that all our opinions necessarily are “true”, or need to be acted on, but they do tell us about ourselves. To allow ourselves to have opinions, to listen to them, discern whether they’re actionable, or not, is key to staying human, and even humane.

If those in power are left to decide this for you, which they have done their damnest to accomplish, they of course rather have you silenced, intimidated and not questioning anything. Like blind soldiers, following orders we know are inherently bad for us.

Allowing ourselves to have opinions, is not about loud rebellion, it’s about finding your self, this beautiful being, hidden under other’s beliefs, fear, anger, shame and guilt. That voice, subtle as it may have become, or even almost indistguishable, that tells you what is important to you, how you want to live your life and what you want to leave as your legacy when your journey here is over. Allow yourself to listen to it and honor it. That is the only way you will feel on purpose and fulfilled.


How well do you know yourself?

The Oracle in Delphi’s words “Know thyself” are as valid nowadays, as way back then. To know yourself is vitally important in order to live an authentic life, to feel good about yourself and actually to feel safe as well.

We all have this inner knowing, this deep sense of what is right for us, what feels unacceptable and what feels, well, good,  in lack for a better word. Our upbringing and first years here on the planet come with a lot of do’s and don’ts, that our caretakers imprinted on us, or our friends, siblings, teachers etc. All those do’s and don’ts may be agreeable to us, or they might not.

If we find ourselves feeling at odds with our lives, as if something, inside is askew, or just not in harmony, we might have adopted other people’s ideas or opinions against our own truth. Ideas and opinions that don’t sit well within us.

We might analyse ourselves, reflect on what we were taught, have realizations and insights as to how and when and why they came about, which might help to neutralize them, but it is not necessary to know even if it might ease the inner conflict. What is necessary however, is to know oneself enough, to recognize when something we do, say, think or feel does not compute inside. A feeling that can vary from an ever so subtle irritation to fullblown fury, or sadness, or fear. To make a note of it and check in to see what would have felt better.

When you know yourself, you can discern whether a fear, or anger, is a signal that you have wavered from your own true self, or if it’s just another “program” from the past that wasn’t a good fit.

This part of you, is always there, is always guiding you towards your authentic and unique self, that very essence you are here to express. To simply live by repeating what others may have said, implied or manipulated you into believing is that stage when we walk about in our life feeling an emptiness, that we’re missing out on something important or that we have no purpose. To use this inner guidance system, moment by moment, heed it’s messages and act accordingly becomes like one of those automatic scans for our favorite radio station, it continuously adjusts and the signal is coming through loud and clear. Just like we want it.

To know ourselves, to feel safe and comfortable in our own skin, is what makes us shine at our brightest. This does not mean that everybody will love us, agree with us or even tolerate us, but it does entail that elusive feeling that we’re OK whether people do or don’t. It gives you that resilience that will not crumble at the slightest sign of disapproval. Like sitting inside a comfortable cottage, all warm and cosy, while a blizzard or “shitstorm” is raging outside.


The digital world, social & main stream media, are not real

The number of people who are living in the digital world of social media like Instagram, Facebook & Twitter and who swallows anything and everything said in the main stream media is alarming. It’s as if large chunks of the population are now convinced that fictional TV-series are the actual reality.  The digital world is like mind-poison, it confuses, deludes and scares us into what would, not so long ago, have been called “lunatics”. You know, people who believe they are Napoleon, or show other traits that tell us that they are not fully here.

This fictional world has crept up on us in an insidious manner, which in my humble opinion is actually the point. Step by step, we have come to trust the digital version of our world instead of being in it, talking to real people, finding out facts for ourselves, using our discernment. We are spoonfed “information” that is selected to frighten and outrage us, believing that “news” are neutral and factual, believing that scientific research and reports are true (and even the only truth), not even reflecting anymore on what is NOT there.

This twerking and tweaking of our reality is sinister. Our minds, our discernment, our individuality and sovereignty are threatened. It starts early, our children are sent to day-care centres at an early age and to school to be molded into what “society” has deemed “good productive citizens”. They are however not taught to think for themselves, to learn how to handle their emotions, to use their imagination or to diverge in any way shape or form from the crowd. And today more than ever before, they are not even free after school hours, they are herded into the digital world, which further separates them from their true nature.

The real world is NOT digital. The real world is coherent and connected. The real world is alive, the digital world is artificial. Ask yourself if you want to be real or artificial – a no brainer right?

It’s easy to be hypnotized, but the thing is it’s just as easy to come out of this dazed state. Just turn the digital world OFF for a while, get back into life and notice the difference. We are not here to spend our time on this planet in an engineered coma, we are here to experience and create, our own lives.

I have no issues with the internet as such, it’s great, but it is meant to be a tool. As it is now, humans are the tools and the internet the puppeteer.