The polarity engaging so many is between kindness and strength, as if kindness and strength do not mix. On one hand we want to be kind, nurturing, welcoming and accepting and on the other we feel powerless, weak, castrated, hurt and even angry when someone takes our kindness for granted. The lesson here is to be kind AND strong at the same time.
Kindness without strength is cowardice and strength without kindness usually become cruelty. So you see, one without the other causes imbalance and negativity. This is the essence of unity, of refusing to separate what we think of as polarities and understand that the various combinations of them are offering the balance and harmony we all want in our lives.
This goes with all “opposites”. In understanding that these perceived polarities are only markers on a ruler, one at the far end side of the other, but still on the same ruler, not really separate at all, we find unity and harmony.
We cannot continue to frantically avoid what we deem as “negative” but embrace them as part of a whole.
The polarities we see today is part of this huge misunderstanding causing people to try to either live their lives on the positive side of the ruler, or the negative, each disrespecting the other profusely. Those who claim that they actually are only positive are constantly struggling with their shadow aspects, and those who proudly stand on the darker side, fear their light. But if you imagine a hero – would you truly admire him or her if there was only strength, cruelty and decisiveness or isn’t it his or her kindness, softness and vulnerability mixed in with that strength that truly evokes your love?
To be aware of the wholeness that you are, that you do, whether you want to accept it or not, encompass both cruelty and kindness, love and fear, joy and sorrow is key to finding balance. It’s our choice to not allow strength become cruely, nor kindness cowardice. This is why it’s so important to not make any decisions in affect, in emotional turmoil but to breathe and allow the colors of the emotions to fuse in harmony and then choose.
It’s really no more complicated than cooking. For some dishes (situations) we need more heat, spice, tartness and for others we sprinkle everything in sweetness and cream. Mix and match appropriately for whatever decision or action you need to take. You will know when the taste is just right for whatever current situation your in.